Happy February! The month of love, romance, glamour, spoiling, wooing and all the things in-between! This month is one of my favorite months to discuss sexual wellbeing and health with my clients because it is normally on their minds anyway, which makes it less awkward to have a full blown discussion about. This is one of those “taboo” societal topics that people will often turn a blind eye, or complete ignore.
However I really feel like this has done everyone a huge disservice. Sex is a natural biological function, and not to mention we have sexual organs and processes that our bodies go through to manage it! I’m sure that if you are reading this, then at one point you have more than likely experienced one of the following (from a female perspective):
- Is this discharge normal?
- Am I supposed to bleed… this much?
- This tampon goes where??
- What’s a suppository?
- Am I peeing from my vagina?
- Is an orgasm normal?
These are serious questions that I have answered from clients – more than once.
The question we all seem to be trying to ask ourselves, is “what is normal”? That is a wonderful questions to be asking, and we should not feel ashamed for asking these types of questions.
Truthfully, our youth is where we need to help make the change. We need to implement better health and sex education, OR be better at having those hard conversations with them. It is the only way that we are going to see real change for women in regards to period product education and funding, decreased rates of teenage pregnancies, and decreased rate of STD transmissions.
So do you want to better educate your daughter, sister, niece or mother? Then THIS is your blog post.
First basic step ladies, let’s learn our anatomy:
To clarify any confusion, the urethral opening is where urine flows from. The clitoris is a sexual organ and has a hood for protection. The vagina is what most people think and verbally referred to when looking at this picture – but as a whole, this image is the anatomy of a vulva.
This is a great image to sum up what is going on during a menstrual cycle. Menstrual cycles are how our body knows whether or not an egg has been fertilized, so thus it’s the cycle that our body goes through continuously. The hormone shifts, feelings, moods, sensations – all of the changes are part of the process and vary greatly in every individual woman.
This relevant because around the time of your body ovulating, you will feel an increase in your sex drive. Obviously your body wants you to try and have a baby, so it is very normal to have increased libido around this time each month. Now does that mean it’s a “guarantee” of sex drive? No… low sex drive is also very common (not normal) especially in those who take certain types of birth control. It’s all about the hormone balance… As a woman, there has been a huge taboo around discussing a woman’s sex drive, so unfortunately this has led many women to believing that it’s abnormal to desire sex, or to initiate it.
There are many sexual dysfunctions that can relate to pelvic floor dysfunction. Some women are unable to orgasm, some experience terrible pain (dyspareunia), some have coital incontinence, and many more… does this sound like you? Then let’s continue to chat about this.
Let’s debunk some “Common Versus Normal” Statements:
- It’s Common to experience vaginal dryness, not normal – However lubricant such as Uberlube or Good Clean Love are great solutions to this problem!
- Pain with intercourse is COMMON, NOT NORMAL. This definitely warrants a pelvic floor physical therapy appointment – straightaway.
- Women cannot orgasm every time they have intercourse – same here. Unfortunately common, but NOT NORMAL. This could be due to many reasons, so it’s best to consult a PFPT on this as well.
- Vaginal Childbirth ruins your sex life. Honestly, no, I think people like to blame childbirth on how their sex life has changed. But no, it’s not normal for your entire sexual function to vanish after childbirth. There are a lot of psychological and physical reasons why you need to work with therapists in order to restore yourself into feeling more “normal” with yourself before diving headfirst into a sex life.
Best Sexual Wellness Brands
- Uberlube
This lubricant has many purposes! Their brand is based on being multifunction for sex, style & sport. AKA: it’s great for reducing frizz and styling hair, for intercourse, and it’s anti-chaffing during sporting activities! - HoneyPot
The HoneyPot company has really come out with some great products that are plant-derived! Honestly this is one of the first companies I’ve been able to use their freshness wipes and it NOT cause a reaction with my sensitive skin! They get a 5 Star Rating from me! - Intimate Rose
This company is very near and dear to my heart in terms of sexual wellness because their products focus on pelvic floor rehabilitation. They have vaginal weight trainers, dilators, pelvic wands, and supplements! This company was founded by a pelvic floor PT so she really knows her stuff.
I have a coupon code for them, so please use it! It’s: ALLY1
I know that urinary tract infections are also fairly common in today’s time, so Uqora has a great library on educational articles and products that help with UTI’s. I have personally never used this brand, however I can attest that cranberry juice never did anything to help my UTI’s – so I think the effort this company has put into making products that work, looks sound. I would love to hear your opinion if you have ever used their products before!
This can a be a lot of information, and sadly I don’t feel like I covered near enough!! I’d love to dive deeper in the next blog on how pelvic tools can you deal with your pelvic floor dysfunctions that affect your sexual dysfunctions!
If you have any specific questions regarding the topic of this blog, or have a personal question that you would like answered by yours truly – then please feel free to contact me HERE!
I truly hope to see you here next week, sorry this blog was posted late! Have a fantastic week!
-Dr. Ally
[…] out there who might need more assistance in this department, and that’s totally okay! In last week’s blog I talked about a few different brands that I enjoy using, and have had positive reviews from […]